What I've Learned Over the Years

Yesterday was my 14th birthday, and I must say it was a great one. My mom, brother and I had just flown in at 2 AM, and I had my first softball game that day. My team, the Leopards, didn't win (although it was a close call!) but I still had fun and have some beautiful softball-shaped bruises to remember the day by. Later, we went to Benihana, and I enjoyed seeing the food being prepared in front of me, even though everybody was so jet-lagged we could barely keep our eyes open! We were crankier than a group of prune juice-deprived elderly people forced to listen to heavy metal music. :D

Nonetheless, it was a fantastic birthday, and I really feel like a changed person. I now see things from a different, much more mature perspective. Gone is the year of immaturity and crustiness, and I am now prepared for my year of responsibility and wumbo-ness. **stares profoundly into the distance** And now, I have a list of the top 14 lessons learned throughout my years.

14. Never eat yellow snow. Even though the strange taste is addicting, it's quite unsanitary. I mean, who knows where that lemonade has been!

13. You can't take your pet fish on a walk. Fish are okay swimming in the water. Don't worry, their fins don't need the exercise.

12. Never pull an all-nighter unless you really need to. You'll be so tired in the middle of the day, it won't be worth it.

11. Try not to tell jokes while people are drinking. Personally, I don't like snot-water on my food.

10. If a wall has a sign that says, "Wet paint", just assume the paint is really wet. Don't poke it, or put your back on it (even though your curiosity might get the best of you!)

9. If you're wearing brightly colored undergarments, white pants/ shirt are not the best idea. Especially if your undies have Mickey Mouse on them.

8. Chewing minty gum does not replace actually brushing your teeth. Trust me, people can see the difference.

7. If you ever get your hair stuck on a hair brush, do not, I repeat, DO NOT, reach for the scissors. You'll regret it later!

6. When your baby brother comes home from the hospital, you can't play with him right away. You'll have to wait a few years.

5. Enjoy kindergarten. You get to color, eat glue, and have nap-time. That's not going to happen again for a while.

4. Just because butter tastes good on toast, doesn't mean it is good by itself. Eating a spoonful of the stuff will just make you gag.

3. Before jamming out to your favorite song, make sure that the door and curtains are closed. Not everybody will "get" your interpretative dance, but snaps to you for expressing creativity. **dons beret in a dramatic manner**

2. When learning to juggle, just use balls like everybody else. No need to attempt to juggle eggs, unless you want an omelet on the floor.

1. Just be happy. For every minute that you are angry, that's 60 seconds of happiness you'll never get back.

Until next time,
<3 Lucero